Real Rhonda

The other day, I chose to watch a movie I shouldn’t have.

I left the theater feeling like I needed intense post-abuse therapy (as though I myself had lived the story) and a scrub brush for my brain after allowing the devil to take a major crap into my ears and eyes. After arriving home, I went and got the only scrub brush that would work for a job of this magnitude, filled a figurative bucket with figurative soap and figurative water, and allowed the Holy Spirit to get on his hands and knees and start cleaning up the brown mess before it could seep down into my heart and ooze out my mouth. The scrub brush happened to be Romans 1-4 and it did help-with the water/soap of the Word of Grace of God.  I still felt like I wanted to vomit but the intensity of the mess was greatly decreased. The “disaster restoration” may take awhile but the one I have doing this job, never gets tired and works day and night.

Romans 1:28-32 When they refused to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their own evil minds and let them do things that should never be done.  Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, fighting, deception, malicious behavior and gossip. They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud and boastful. They are forever inventing new ways of sinning…they are fully aware of God’s death penalty for those who do these things, yet go right ahead and do them anyways…and encourage others to do them, too.

I apologize if you thought you might read something humorous here.  I have nothing humorous to say.  I’m not even sure I can muster a half-smile for you.

Today, I read something in the Bible that I have read many times but today I cried over it.

Genesis 6:5-6 Now the Lord observed the extent of the people’s wickedness, and he saw that all their thoughts were consistently and totally evil.  So the Lord was sorry he had ever made them.  It broke his heart.

Right after God was sorry, he destroyed everything with a flood of tears except the only man who was blameless (Noah) and his family along with some animals.  God promised to never do that again.  And he has kept that promise.  Fast forward a few thousand years, and now we all have a front row seat in the theater of mankind’s depravity.  The wickedness of what goes on in our world, in secret, in theaters, in basements, in attics, in streets, in brothels, in trains, planes, and automobiles is all seen by a God who desperately loves us.

Can you imagine watching your beautiful creation, these amazing creatures, so capable of doing so much good, engaging in the most wicked things and not only destroying themselves day after day, but destroying each other, the innocent, children, babies, girls, boys, men and women.  And teaching people to continue the cycle, year after year, century after century.  Murdering, raping,  stealing, lying, cheating, killing, and imagining up new ways to do it over and over and over.  You can almost hear God yelling, “What in hell are you doing?  Oh, wait.  That’s Earth!  What on Earth are you doing?  I didn’t create you for this!  You are destroying yourselves.  I LOVE YOU!  I have the key to Life. Shoot, I AM the key to Life, abundant Life.  You could be happy!  You could enjoy Me but you refuse.  I want to be your one True Love.  But you refuse.  You run after others, trying to fill a hole that only I can fill.  I didn’t make you to be so dumb but wow, y’all are really dumb. You think you can find peace and satisfaction in having sex with everything that moves, murdering anyone and everyone, stealing, gossiping, and running all the time—And if you aren’t actually doing it yourself, you watch others do it for you.  Everyone of you has turned away from Me.  Just come home!  Just come back to Me—I’ll give you more than you could dream of.  I’ll fill you with so much joy.  I’ll provide for every need.  I’ll show you things, reveal my grace, and give you more Life than you would know what to do with.  Just come back.  One step in my direction and I will overwhelm you with forgiveness.

And yet, we hold back.  Unsure.  Doubtful.  So full of ourselves, that we can’t see straight.  Our hands so full of sin, we can’t grasp what he offers.  He offers it all and yet, we shrug and downplay just how bad it has gotten.  We feel tired, overwhelmed, lethargic and apathetic.  And yet, just one step towards Him, and we would never look back.  Just one moment with Him, and our lives could be changed.  Our minds so full of insecurity and lies.  The Truth seems…too good to be true.  Our chains, too real.  The cell, all we’ve known.  Besides, we walked into the cell with our own two feet. I deserve to be here.  I deserve this misery.  This 8×8 is home now.  Gray and black are the only colors…can’t even imagine a sunset.  Can’t imagine a flying free bird.  THIS is life.  This is all there will ever be.  I hate the beatings, I hate the abuse.  I hate it and yet, it’s familiar.  I hate it and yet I don’t know how to leave.

But He calls.  He calls every day.  Over and Over.  Come to Me! Come to Me, you tired, miserable people.  You are all I think about.  You are all I want.  His hand offers food through the bars but I choose pig slop.  He offers fresh cool water, but I choose to drink mud.  Come! Just lift your eyes and look at Me.  Our bones and muscles too weak to stand.  Finally, we lazily open an eye, as we lay on the concrete.  Ashamed, we look away.  I’m disgusting.  I’m dirty.  I’m not what you want.  I need clothes.  I need a toothbrush. I need a comb.  I need a shower.  I need some shoes.  I need a manicure/pedicure.  I need a q-tip, some kleenex, and chapstick.  I’m filthy.  You don’t want me.

Day after day, week after week.  He calls.  Just come.  Just come.

You struggle.  I’m chained! I can’t leave even if I wanted to.  Jesus.  Help.  Help.  Help.  Help. Me.

His face.  So bright.  His eyes, like fire but full of Love.

Help me.  Please!  I want out of this hell-hole.  I.  Want. Out.

Gently and swiftly, before you can change your mind, he bites through the chains with his teeth.  Licking your wounds, patting your cheek, stroking your hair.  Wraps you with a blanket and puts you on around his neck.  He roars.  Not a meow.  A roar that knocks down every wall.  And within minutes, you are soaring.  Still weakened by the abuse, but alive.  More alive than you have ever been.  More awake than you have ever been.

Soon, you are strong.  You are clothed.  You are clean.  You smile and laugh.  Your reality now is His Love, not your former misery.

And as time has passed, you have learned his roar, while riding on his back.  And you roar with him, through the walls of the people around you, breaking chains and setting captives free.

INDIFFERENCE (as defined by UrbanDictionary.com): “apathy demonstrated by an absence of emotional reactions”.

PEACE (as defined by UrbanDictionary.com): “Something commonly fought for yet rarely achieved”, “The day when all religion is forgotten. Then there will be peace.”, “a failed philosophy”.

Common definitions of Peace:  Absence of anxiety and worry, inner calmness, trusting that God is bigger than your problems, faith that it’s all going to work out.

Or maybe Peace is:  Forgetting hard things, indifference to trials/attacks/difficulties, ignoring annoying people, shutting out the pain, pulling the covers up over your head, sticking your head in the sand, lacking passion, refusing to fight, looking past problems, sweeping the dirt under the rug.

I remember a scene in the movie “Far and Away” where Tom Cruise has been separated from the woman he fell in love with (Nicole Kidman).  He decided to work on the railroad in the Midwest.  When there were particularly dangerous jobs that needed to be done (using dynamite), the supervisor would call Joseph (Tom Cruise) and his response would be “Makes no difference to me” and then go blow something up and almost die.

He’d lost what was valuable to him and thus, didn’t care whether he lived or died. He wasn’t a courageous, faith-filled, purposeful warrior, out to make the world a better place. Really, he was a depressed, apathetic, grieving man who only looked like he didn’t have a worry in the world.  He was indifferent, not peaceful.

If I start to get anxious about something, start to worry about a situation that doesn’t look favorable, I am able to quickly calm myself down with, “Whatever, it doesn’t matter, I don’t care that much anyway”.

If Starbucks gets my drink wrong (which rarely happens), I decrease my stress by saying basically, “It’s not a big deal, I don’t really care one way or the other, it’s just coffee, I wasn’t expecting perfection, Life is full of let-downs/disappointments”.

I think we all get ideas of where we want to be in 5 years/10 years/20 years.  But what happens when we don’t reach that goal/dream by the 5 year/10 year/20 year mark? I can either say a) I’m a failure–didn’t reach the goal or b) I didn’t want it that bad, who needs ________? Those people that have that aren’t really all that happy, it’s overrated anyways” or c) God is in control, I am trusting him, I’m doing the best I can at the moment, maybe I need some fresh vision to get me to where I want to be.

If I find someone super annoying, I can fane kindness but only allowing myself a certain amount of time with that person and then sprinting for the other side of the room.  But is that kindness?  Is avoiding certain characters kindness?  (Well, yeah, hello…If I stayed one minute longer with them I would punch them in the face-I’m doing them a favor by fleeing and I am staying out of jail-something my mother is happy about).

Sometimes I wonder if these attributes, morals, characteristics we take so much pride in, are truly something to be proud of.

I could go on and on but for now, that’s as far as my revelation will take me.  But I’m going to study what Jesus said in the Bible.  For truly, peace and kindness are all about Him, from Him, through Him, and by Him.

Dear Burglars,

My name is Rhonda. You invaded my home yesterday. I would have rather you took the TV than my laptop. Thank you for not burning down the house or knifing the couches. Thank you for not taking my clothes, my iPod, my files, my journal, or my Bible. But that is enough thank you’s from me.

You are not welcomed back on this property. You are not allowed on the porch.

I will tell you where you are allowed. You are allowed to go to jail. You are allowed to go to my church. You are allowed to go to drug rehab. You are allowed in my clinic. You are allowed to go to Heaven. You are allowed to get your life straightened out. You are allowed to go to the pawn shop and when they run the serial numbers on my laptop, I will be notified. You are allowed to go to your mom’s house for Christmas.

You are allowed to stop believing the devil. He is a liar and he has lied to you. He steals-it’s who he is but that doesn’t have to be who you are.

I believe you can change. I believe you can have a fresh start. You are probably young and on drugs, you can start over! It’s not too late.

But just remember, Jesus is…watching you.

(Preface:  This is not a post pertaining to the straight up truth of the Bible.  The Bible truth doesn’t change no matter who you are. I am also not condoning unethical behavior or immoral attitudes/actions).

There is something about formulas that I just love.  Mathematical formulas (not baby formula).

I remember being in Calculus class (would you believe it just took me 3 tries to spell Calculus right?) in high school and not understanding a blessed thing but when the teacher gave a formula, I was good to go.   Put in some numbers, plug them in where the letters were and BAM I had an answer and an answer was all I cared about.  Wrong or right, an answer was better than nothing.  I didn’t want to over-think it because I really did believe that it would not be something I would care about as an adult (and I was right!).  I don’t remember anything from that class except that we read the Count of Monte Cristo and I learned a whole lot about revenge, wealth, and power.

(And if you are a high school student reading this, please disregard my opinion about calculus having no value in everyday life.)

Who doesn’t want a formula?  A formula for success, wealth, everlasting love, breaking addictions, getting healthy and losing weight, living until 100 years old?

If you eat all organic food and never drink (except 8oz of red wine per week) and eat dark chocolate and never smoke, and take multivitamins, then you will live to be 100 years old and never have any chronic diseases.

So, if I do steps 1-12, then my life will work out, I will reach perfection and everyone will love me?  If I invest in this stock with this amount of money at this time, then I will become a millionaire?  If I say this line, to this person, they will want to be with me for the rest of my life?  If I give this much time to this activity, I will become professional and never have to worry about anything again?  If you get 2 massages per month, your quality of life will dramatically improve?

The funny thing about people giving you “advice”  that worked for them is that you aren’t them.  Their “formula” for success isn’t a formula, it’s strategy for sure, but it’s not a formula or it would work for everyone.

We aren’t letters or number and life isn’t math problems.  We are people-humans with brains who all have different stories, pasts, lifestyles, habits, insecurities, hardships, hangups, pet-peeves, and expectations.

One person quits smoking cold turkey, another needs Nicorette gum, another uses Chantix, one person eats jolly ranchers, one person just needs to move out of their current living situation—And what worked the first time to quit, might not work the 2nd time for the same person.

Seriously, I counsel people to quit smoking and yet, I haven’t found a good way to help 100% of the people.  I have general strategies I give them but let them know that I have never smoked (except in my dreams, and boy, did I love it!).  First, you have to get some good reasons about why you want to quit.  Next, practice saying, “Oh, I don’t smoke”.  Then, tell everyone you are quitting.  Get rid of your ash trays.  Remind yourself why you are quitting.  Set a “quit date”.  Stop buying cigarettes.  Distract yourself when you get a craving and the craving goes away in a few minutes.  Stop hanging out with people who smoke.  Do something else with your hands and your mouth.

I have no formula—just strategies.  I have no idea what will work to help you quit smoking but here’s what some people have tried that has helped.

It’s interesting when people give advice like “formulas” and not like “strategies”.

“Oh I had that exact problem and I did this and that, and I got out of that rut I was in.  You just need to do “this and that” and I guarantee you will be different and everything will change.”

Life isn’t a vending machine.  God isn’t a vending machine.  Even vending machines sometimes don’t work the way you want them to and give you something totally different from the Grandma’s Cookies in C3.

I like formulas so I don’t have to think much, don’t have to try very hard, don’t have to worry about taking any blame, don’t have to take responsibility. Just plug in those number and BAM, get results.

One person gets married because she had an arranged marriage in India, another went to Starbucks, another met the guy when she was 10, another did eHarmony, another chased a guy until he surrendered, another laid at his feet on the threshing floor (Ruth), another was formed out of the dude’s rib, one finally just stopped thinking about it, one met her guy in a Christian commune, one went to Northwest College and found her man, one sat in pew 3, seat 4 for 3 years straight, one simply struck up a conversation with a stranger on the bus, one had a grandma who set her up with someone else’s grandson, one fasted and prayed for 30 days straight, one went out with a blind date.

One person gets rich by gambling, another by stealing, another by saving every penny, another by short sales, another by investments, another by trading, one by inheritance, another by finding an oil supply in the middle of nowhere, one by playing the lottery, one person gets rich by having 1000 rental properties.

One person gets rid of cancer by praying, another by dying, another by eating certain foods, one by going to a certain doctor, taking certain pills.

One person has a baby by in vitro, one by rape, one by adoption, one by the Holy Spirit, one by surrogate mother.

One person makes orange chicken by orange extract, one by orange juice, one by apple cider vinegar and ketchup, one just goes to Panda Express.

One person stays awake while driving by eating tictacs, one by eating ice chips, one by rolling down all the windows, one by pulling over to take a nap, one by blasting rap music.

One person uses WordPress for blogging, some use Blogspot, other use Blogger or thoughts.com or blog.com or livejournal.com.

One person loses weight by only drinking water, another by stapling the stomach, another by losing a limb, one by doing crossfit, one by joining the Marines, one by having a parasite.

My point?  I’ll let you decide.

I just ate 3 popcorn balls and I’m ready for bed.

Picture this:

Quaint, little cafe.  Not the cleanest place but very popular.  Packed with people eating breakfast, talking energetically with friends.  Servers and cooks quickly covering tables and orders.  Two cooks at one long grill cooking up omelettes, hash browns, eggs, bacon, biscuits, pancakes, sausage gravy and toast.  Everyone is pretty much ordering the same thing.  There is one large pot of melted butter on the grill between the cooks.  The cook on the right is soaking the potatoes and everything else with butter by the ladle full.

Basically, it is one big giant grease fest.  And all of us are happily calorized and cholesterofied.

The cook on the left takes a break from the fun and sits at the bar near me with his breakfast.  He carefully cuts up a whole banana for his cereal with milk.  He also has a bowl of plain scrambled eggs and his own thermos of a beverage.  He is the only one eating healthy while reading his book, oblivious to my staring.  I look down at my hashbrowns, eggs, sausage gravy biscuits and back at his breakfast, and again back at my breakfast.  Mouth open.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I absolutely am enjoying my breakfast.  Every bite.  The hash browns are amazingly delicious.

But I am downright intrigued by this man who just cooked me up a heart-attack at my request and yet is eating cereal with banana.

Picture this:

Busy lake/park.  People walking, running, strolling around the lake on the two lane path.  A man in his 60′s is walking, in his jeans, nice jacket and hat.  Well-dressed man.  Very put together and pleasant looking.  A woman, also in her 60′s, well-dressed in a skirt and boots is not on the path.  She is few yards ahead of him, to the left of the path, skipping.  She is skipping.  No one else is skipping.  Skipping is not an activity usually undertaken by those over 12 years of age.  I can’t remember the last time I was skipping.  I like to run, walk, jog, stroll, and sit.  I do not skip.  I use to.  Back when I was 12.   Later, I see them together.  He is walking and she is skipping beside him.  He doesn’t mind.  There are obviously “together”.  He is not asking her to stop.  He is not joining her.  It just is what it is.  And he is okay with her form of exercise.  He is happy.  She is happy.  They are different.  (And for the record, I did skip with her for a little way—It was hard not to smile and laugh as we exchanged pleasantries).

It makes me think of Jesus, sitting with notorious sinners. The religous people walk by them and ask Jesus why he sits with such “scum”. (Luke 5)  It is a lesson of contrast.  Jesus is not intimidated by being different than his surroundings.  He always was.  God, and yet born in a barn, to save mankind from their sin?  Ministering and healing the very people He knew would murder Him?  It’s all very intriguing really.

But think about it.

What would happen if you were yourself,  true to your personality, true to who God made you to be?  Not worried what people will think?  What if you skipped when everyone else was walking and running?  What if you ate bananas while everyone else is eating butter?  What if you made friends with people not like you-ministering and loving on the unlovable?  Not worrying what others thought?

Will people stare, talk? For sure.  But you just might encourage others, to also go down a less-travelled road.  And that, will make all the difference.

It’s possible that after eating a dinner of octopus and eel and then coming home to Chex Muddy Buddies (to which I started saying “I love you so much” with the same voice you talk to a really cute baby/dog-yeah, it would have been embarrassing but I was the only one home), that I may not be thinking clearly at the moment but I really want to write a post for you.  Though it just might come out a little more dramatic than it should.  I am feeling quite dramatic at the moment.

Today, I talked to a lady who has been hearing voices and although she is on medication, the voices are overwhelming right now.  ”I feel like I’m going crazy!” were her words to me. I smiled—Yeah, not the right time to smile actually.  (Note to self: next time someone says they are feeling like they are going crazy, DO NOT smile-unless they are really really really crazy and will join you in smiling, don’t smile).

However, I smiled for a reason that had nothing to do with her.  We all wonder at times what is going on, where are we going, what’s wrong with us.  If the woman only realized that we all feel at times we are going crazy, wondering if we are really cut out for the task at hand. Why can’t we keep our minds focused on the things that truly matter?

You know those times when there is something you really want to forget and yet, everywhere you go, there is a sign, a reminder, a symbol of the very thing you just wish you could let go of.  Your eyes automatically zoom in on everything that would even remotely signal your brain to tell your heart that you don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell in forgetting what you want to forget. The more you get reminded, the more you question your sanity. The more you question your sanity, the more you look for signs that you are not insane. You beg your brain to let go, to relax, to be quiet, to meditate on the simple things.  ”Stop, please stop.  You have no right to be so pervasive. No right to fill every cranny of my brain.  No right to make me feel like this.  Just let it go.  It’s no use thinking about something that is so useless.  What’s done is done.  Let the book end.  Let the credits roll.  Let the fat lady sing.  Let bygones be bygones.  Let sleeping dogs lie.  Let the dead die.  No more sequels.  Let the subscription run out.  Let the glass spill empty. Please thoughts, just bite the dust and go belly up.”

I was at a meeting last week and started doodling circles.  That’s what I like to draw.  Circles touching other circles all in one big clump.  Clumpy circles.  Circles of clump. My co-worker wrote on my paper: “That is a sign of intelligence”.  I thought to myself, “I knew it!” A sign.  The oppressive reminders will not take over my intelligent brain! I will divide and conquer!

Recently when a guy I don’t really know found out I rather enjoy listening some to Justin Beiber every now and then, he questioned my sanity. He couldn’t believe that a 30-year-old woman would find the Biebs enjoyable.  I couldn’t believe he was judging us so fast.

People will always question your sanity when you do something different and others will find reason to think you are intelligent.

The conclusion?  The moral of this all?  The reason I am writing this at all?

Well, I could reference the Urban Dictionary.

PER URBAN DICTIONARY-Definition #6 of Insane is: The label given to people who open the door that sane people keep closed… the people who are consumed by the awareness of their existence, when everyone else is blind to their own… the people who can distinguish the reality of illusion from those who live the illusion of reality… etcetera.

And then there is the Bible.

Philippians 3:12-14: Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³ Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

We focus on Jesus.  We take our thoughts captive and we determine to walk worthy of the calling.  Our lives, our destiny are tied up  in the joy of knowing Him.  We are flesh and we are human but our God invigorates with His power in order to help our brains…well, keep order!

Will we succeed?  Most assuredly my friend, most assuredly.

Once upon a time, I was on the bus.

Maybe I should back up and provide you with some context.

I drive a car which means I need a good mechanic who is trustworthy.  In the previous city I lived in, I had a great mechanic. However, I would sometimes go elsewhere for auto care when he was busy.  I learned quickly that all mechanics are not created equal.  Sure, all men and women are equal but not mechanics.  Red, Yellow, Black and White they are precious in His sight but not all mechanics are created equal.  So, I had a bad experience with a bad mechanic-a bad mechanic at the Toyota dealership.  They told me I had no problems with my catalytic converter and charged me for replacement of my perfectly good timing belt-and those babies ain’t cheap (no baby is).  My catalytic converter was 90% clogged…I lived and learned…Then I moved…Which means, find a new everything.

So, once upon a time, I was on the bus.  A guy sat down next to me.  I smiled and we started talking.  His name was Dan. I would see him many times on that bus and almost every time, we would greet each other and talk about deep matters.

Once though, I asked him where he took his car for maintenance.  And he told me.

East Urban Auto Repair.  He told me Jeri Lucas would treat me right.

The guy on the bus got married and I never saw him again.

But I started going to East Urban Auto in Kirkland.  I started and I haven’t stopped.  Even after I moved 30 minutes away, I kept going.

Today, I went there.

I told them I moved.

Jason, Jeri’s son, who is also superb responded, “You are my new favorite customer, though you were already near the top! Thanks for continuing to come to us.”

I wonder if favorite customers get discounts…Actually, I might just pay him double next time just because I love them so much.

THE END

And what is the moral of this story?

Talk to guys on the bus?

Not all mechanics are equal?

You can trust some people, you really can?

Kirkland has better mechanics than Burien?

Life is short?

Starbucks has really good coffee?

You too can have everything you ever wanted?

You should eat Chinese food more often?

None of the above.  The moral of the story is:

Jesus loves me a lot.  THAT is the moral of my wonderful story about how I found East Urban Auto Repair.

I’ve had one scene stuck in my head all day from the movie “A Christmas Story”.

Ralphie and his brother Randy go to the mall to tell Santa what they want for Christmas.  Ralphie wants a Red Rider BB gun and this is his only chance to tell Santa.  The boys stand in line forever but finally they get to the front.  The elves grab Randy first to tell Santa what he wants but he starts screaming in fear so the elves release him down the slide.  Ralphie then gets thrown on Santa’s lap but because he is so awestruck by just being with Santa, he nods dumbly when Santa asks, “What do you want for Christmas little boy? How about a nice football?”   The elves, impatiently, pick him up and toss him down the slide. Ralphie’s brain starts screaming, “Wake Up Stupid! Wake up!” because he just agreed that a football is what he wants.  Ralphie suddenly wakes up, stops himself from sliding and claws his way back up the slide to tell Santa what he really wants.  To which Santa replies, “You’ll shoot your eye out!”

How many times this has happened to me!  Not with chubby men in red suits but in everyday life.   I have nodded, agreed and have been whisked down the slide as if everything was fine but the whole time my brain is yelling, “WAKE UP STUPID, WAKE UP!”. Finally a day or 2 or 4 or years later do I realize what I just did, what I agreed to, what I dumbly nodded to.

Restaurant Scene:  Waitress asks, “You want white rice with that, right?”  And I just nod because I’m thinking about something else or I’m trying to be agreeable.  And then when the plate arrives, my brain wakes up and thinks, “Why did you get white rice?! You wanted brown!”  But next time, I will know what question is coming and I will be able to say, (before the waitress even asks), “I WANT BROWN RICE!”

Relationship Scene: Boy (who you barely know but like), says, “I am not ready for a relationship” and you say, “Ok” along with some gibberish and defriend him on Facebook. Later you realize you should have said, “Who was asking for a relationship?! I just want to know you! No one was trying to get serious with you.”  He would have and could have been a great friend (at the very least) but…the brain said, “Wake up stupid! Wake up!” too late. It’s water under the bridge now, the boy is gone, the plate already came, Christmas already passed and what’s done is done.  The end.  (That relationship scene may or may not have happened but even if it did, the boy has long forgotten about me).  History does tend to repeat itself so if this scene happens again, somewhere else, with someone else, you can best be believin’ that I will respond (hopefully) the opposite that how I did and just you wait, that will be the boy I marry!  The joy of having hindsight that is 20/20.

School Scene:  I remember in 7th grade, a girl asked why I was so happy.  I made up some dumb answer with some gibberish and that was the end.  I never talked to her again.  7 years of my brain saying, “WAKE UP STUPID!” got me to my 2nd year of college when one of the librarians asked me the exact same question: why I was so happy. THIS TIME I KNEW WHAT TO SAY! As soon as he asked the question I knew, “This is my 2nd shot at getting this question right and I’m not going to blow it!”.  And so I told him about Jesus.

What would have happened if Ralphie just slid down the slide as expected?  The movie would have had a very sad ending!  Ralphie would have had to enjoy a football for Christmas.

Is it our desire to please, be agreeable, not make a scene, not stand out, to make people like us that causes us to slide down the slide without stopping halfway down and clawing our way back to the top to say what we actually came to say?  Or perhaps past hurts, insecurities, fears, or pain? I don’t want to live my life with regrets but then again, there are some things you just have to let go because you don’t get a 2nd chance for that specific situation.  IT’S DONE, history, passed, dead, gone, finished, set in stone.

Life is made up of once-in-a-lifetime moments.  ONE SHOT! That’s all you get!  Will the situation repeat itself with someone else, on a different day, in a different place?  Perhaps. Maybe.  Maybe not.

This is my reminder to all us to “WAKE UP STUPID! WAKE UP!” before it’s too late.  Don’t just agree for the sake of being agreeable.  Don’t just nod when you should be shaking your head.  Don’t say “fine, fine” when you should be saying, “NO WAY!”  There are souls, destinies, your health, and Christmases in the balance!

Life is but a vapor, here today and gone tomorrow.  You can make a difference.

But only if you are awake.

From September 14-30, I will be in Uganda (with Ramos Ministries) and will be updating the same blog I had last year as we travel and minister.  We have high hopes and expectations that this is going to be even better than last year (And right now I have someone singing in the house the following, “I have decided to follow Jesus, I have decided to follow Jesus, I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back! The cross before me, the world behind me, the cross before me, the world behind me, the cross before me, the world behind me, no turning back, no turning back!” to which I shouted, “AGAIN! AGAIN!” and then I got to hear it in Amharic.)

And that is what we are doing.  We are going AGAIN, AGAIN! Following Jesus wherever He sends us, believing that His Grace goes with us, before us, behind us.  We know He is good!  He is strong, faithful, present, loving, kind, patient and able!

So, you are welcome to follow us as we go:

http://twoweeksinuganda.blogspot.com