(This specific post is a response to a statement that was made towards me recently and although blogging is not suppose to be a place to passively state what you cowardly couldn’t state in person, I feel that this response will help others)

I am single.  This is a fact.  I am not married.  The guys I date never seem to be dating me in the month of February so I am always happily single on the 14th.  Someone recently relayed a message to me specifically that I am “not doing enough to get married”.  These people are married.  I didn’t have much to say at the moment and though I love both of these people dearly and respect what they have to say, I have more to say now (as I eat Peanut Butter for breakfast,  straight out of the jar with a spoon-hahahhah).

96.4% of people who are Single want to be in a happy relationship.  I made that stat up but it sounds really good.  100% (1 out of 1) of the people living in my condo want to be married someday.

There is no secret formula to use to get married.  There is no Love Potion #9.  There is no chant, special prayer, “Single” saint to pray to, bestselling book, magic slippers, etc that you can say/read/wear that is going to get you married.  There are tons of books that will tell you what to do to help your odds and make you more desirable but believe me, if there was a set formula, me and millions of other people out there would have already done it.

There are many people who I look at, and though this is not nice, I think to myself, “Honey, it is obvious why you are single”.  But that thought changes when I look at some people who are married and think, “Whoa dude, I have no idea why she married you-you are the biggest jerk on the planet”.

Marriage is not designated for the perfect.  Marriage is not just for those who are whole, beautiful, amazing, talented, etc.  For there are plenty of people who are untalented, unmotivated, unamazing, unbeautiful, broken, angry, cruel and perverse who are getting married and are married.

So, I asked God what He thinks.  Am I not doing enough?  Do I need to go buy a better wardrobe, pray more hours of the day, go back to school, cook better, hang out more with Single guys, move to China (where the guy:girl ratio is in favor of the girl), read more books on being amazing, be more exciting by learning to ski, golf, surf, etc.? He said, “I am enough”.

The problem with the statement “not doing enough” in relation to anything, is that the focus is on YOU.  If I need to do more, then I will go shopping for ME, pray for ME, educate ME, find more Single guys for ME, move to China for ME, read books to make ME better.

Single people do not need encouragement to be more about themselves.  Single people need encouragement to get out more, help others, pray for others, volunteer for others.

I can focus more on God because I am single.  This season will end soon enough.  Don’t you worry.  He has got it all worked out.  He knows.  He didn’t make us robots to be exactly like everyone else.  I have more compassion on single people than I would if I was married.  I need that compassion in order to minister to them that I am called to.  The “alone” need an advocate.  I can be that advocate.

I am praying for your marriage!  I am praying for you!  If I had a bunch of kids, I wouldn’t pray as much that you would raise your kids well!  My prayers might be the reason you are doing so well.

I believe I am single for a good reason.  I am not single because I am not beautiful enough, amazing enough, exciting enough, talented enough.  I AM ENOUGH!  I grew up thinking I am not good enough for you all.  BUT I AM GOOD ENOUGH!  I am doing enough.

It’s God I will answer to.  It’s God I will give an account to for my life.  I am not going to rush into marriage just because I am tired of living alone.  I am not going to just marry anyone to make someone else happy.  Most single people could probably find someone out there who will just marry them for the heck of it.  I could probably make it happen.  But there is a problem with striving and working in your own strength-it always backfires.  I know someone who rushed into marriage recently because she was tired of being single.  She is now angry and bitter towards God.

There is a season to raise kids, love your spouse, and have a happy full home.  That is not my season.  Respect me enough to believe I am seeking God.  I am trusting Him with my life the best I know how.  I don’t need encouragement to freak out, stress, worry, or work harder.  His grace is sufficient for me.  His grace is good. His grace is ENOUGH.  His Grace makes what I am doing ENOUGH.  He makes me ENOUGH.

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