My whole life, when my mom, dad or sister would say something nice, I would brush it off with, “Of course you think that, you are my mom, or my dad, or my sister!”  Of course you think I am beautiful because I look just like you.  Of course you like the way I dress, because I gave you this same sweater last Christmas.  Of course you think I am amazing.  Of course.  Because you love me so much.

I use to wish _____________ would say something nice to me.  That _________would think I was beautiful, talented, competent, intelligent.  Who cares if my family thinks good things about me, they are suppose to because they are my family. I want that person to think all those great things.

OF COURSE God loves me because he loves everyone.  His love means nothing because you can be anything and He will love you anyway.  He HAS to love everyone.  He loves Adolph Hitler and Saddam Hussein so of course he loves me.

BACK THE BUS UP!!!!

The fact that my mom loves me, thinks I am fabulous, beautiful, talented actually means more than if some stranger thinks so.  And I will tell you why.

My mom has been there when I am freaking out.  My mom has been there when I have been unkind, rude, wet my pants, crapped my pants, my mascara is running all over the place because I am crying my eyes out, my hair is a mess and my breath smells like hell itself.  My mom has seen me through every awkward phase.  Every phase where I was embarrassed of her (like every good daughter).  She remembers me stealing, cussing…(Actually, the only things she knows about is when I stole an apple when I was 3 from the grocery store because I was hungry…so I walked to the grocery store nearest us and shoplifted without her knowing it until I came home…with an apple…and the cussing, well, in 6th grade I called the cat a bastard.  Because I didn’t know what that was but it sounded good so I said it.  Yeah, that was the end of my career as a cussing shoplifter…Don’t worry, now I have other sins I deal with…like laziness, impatience, gluttony and greed…but thank God he delivered me from stealing and swearing so I know that he will continue to help me fight the temptation to be a lazy, impatient, greedy glutton 🙂 TMI?

The stranger on the street can say, “Hey, I love you, wanna come home with me?” (And yes, in Seattle, I have had that said to me…big shocker I am sure) but he doesn’t know me!  He doesn’t know anything about me…OF COURSE HE LOVES ME.  He has no idea who I am, what I think, the people I have hurt, the thoughts I am capable of.

To think that I would rather hear a  stranger (hot or not) say, “I love you. You are beautiful.  You wanna have my babies?” (Another line that was said to me on the wonderful streets of Seattle, so full of love) IS RIDICULOUS.

It’s like panhandling when you are Bill Gates.  It’s like eating out of the garbage when you own Whole Foods.  It’s like shopping at Wal-Mart when you own Nordstrom.  It’s like being a prostitute when you are married to the wealthiest, handsomest, most loving man on the planet.  It’s like playing Candyland when you know how to play Monopoly.  It’s like using a calculator even though you can do it all in your head even faster.  It’s like driving a Geo Metro when you have a Beemer in the garage that works just fine.  It’s like living in a tent when you own the houses on Rodeo Drive. It’s like flying Continental economy class when you own a fleet of jets.

Okay, so maybe not all of those work out but I think you get it.

Some things just don’t make sense.

The God of the Universe knows you better than your mom.  He knows every thought, every desire, every doubt, every mistake, every accident, every sin, every hurtful thing you have ever done…AND YET HE LOVES ME.  He loves me.  His love is so huge that I can do the worst thing I can think of, and He still loves me.  Sin is sin.  And it separates us from Him.  But He doesn’t stop hoping, praying, pursuing.  He doesn’t stop saying, “You are so beautiful.  You are so talented, so gifted, so amazing.  You have made some wrong choices, wrong turns but  My grace is sufficient for you.  I want you.  I want to spend time with you.  I want to hear what you have to say.  I want to hear your heart and I want to heal it.  I want to spend my life with you, blessing you, making you laugh, crying with you, telling you jokes, whispering all night long in your ear how much you are worth”.

People who know us best and still love us, well, that’s pretty amazing.  To still love people, despite all their shortcomings, weaknesses, mistakes…That’s real love.  Who cares what that dumb boy thinks or the perverted stranger on the street?  Of course they love me, they don’t even know me.  But my mom?  My dad?  My sister?  Now, there is a love worth embracing.

And God’s love?

That is definitely worth embracing.

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