Preface:  I bought an iPhone last week.  It is currently on backorder.  I terminated my service with Sprint and my iPhone has now 25 days to get here.  I am slightly nervous that I may be phone-less for the first time in my entire life but I am seriously thinking that 25 days is plenty of time.  Plenty.

“Hello, Sprint?  Hi, yes, this is Rhonda. You don’t know me.  All you know is that I send you money every month (And I have been so faithful for all 10 years I have been with you). To you, I am just a number, just a means of profit.  I am from the generation that is not loyal to phone companies. This is the day when I ask you to terminate my phone service. I am done.  I am done with you, with your billing mistakes, with your service. I am moving on. This is not a divorce because we weren’t married. There is no reason to argue because there is nothing to say. I will no longer be sending you money and you will no longer be giving me service. You can’t make me feel guilty because I am doing nothing wrong. We have no relationship.  If I died tomorrow, you would not come to the funeral-see?  We have no relationship. It’s been real but I am really leaving.  Thank you, good-bye”.

I hang up the phone (in my fantasy that I thought of before I actually did terminate my service with Sprint that was way easier than I ever dreamed) and start singing, “All my phones are packed, I’m ready to go, I’m standing here with my iPhone. I hate to wake Sprint up to say goodbye. But the dawn is breaking, it’s 2010, AT&T’s waiting, they called me again. Already I’m so happy I could fly.  So kiss me and smile for me, tell me change is good for me, hold me like you’ll never let me go. Chorus: I’m leaving with my iPhone, don’t know when I’ll be back again, oh babe, I love to go.  There’s so many times, you’ve let me down, so many times, you’ve played around, I tell you now, you don’t mean a thing. Every place I go, I’ll use my iPhone.  Every song I sing, I sing for iPhone. I’m not coming back so don’t wait up for me.” Repeat Chorus (to the tune of “Leaving on a Jet Plane”).

So, why not the Droid X?  Why not the Blackberry?

Because my family uses the iPhone.  My sister.  My brother-in-law.  My six nieces (yes, all of them can use the iPhone).  My mom (!).  Why would I go anywhere else?  As part of an iPhone family, it’s my daughter/sister/aunt duty to join, to connect, to commit.  It just makes sense.  My phone bill will make sense too because I am on a family plan.

Is the grass greener on the other side?  Is Sprint better than AT&T?  Will the iPhone 4 outperform my Sanyo Kantana LX?  I don’t know but I want to find out.  The Sanyo Kantana LX was never on back-order.  (Well, I am assuming my current phone, even in its beginning stages, was never on back-order.  I never heard of one person standing in any line for my current phone. Shoot, in the 2 years I have had it, I have seen no more than 3 people with this exact phone.  And that my friend, is a fact).

Think about it. It’s like going to a restaurant that’s empty or a movie theater or a hospital.  It makes you wonder what the rest of the population knows that you don’t know. Why is everyone avoiding this place?  A busy restaurant/movie theater/hospital is actually a good sign.  It means this place is proving itself, proving its quality and people are willing to wait hours to get it.  When people are waiting hours for something, in this day, in 2010, the age of the microwave/overnight express/jet planes/RedBox, when people are waiting for anything, then it’s time to stop and ask yourself, “Why am I not waiting for this?” and then you get your butt in line whether you know why they are waiting or not.  Okay, okay, so we aren’t all followers nor should we all just blindly go where the masses are going.  But you have a microwave don’t you?  So do the masses.  You have used overnight express?  Jet planes?  Red Box?  So have the masses.  What?  You don’t want to be a follower and yet your entire life is consumed with things that everyone has… TV, clothes, cars, Gummy Vitabears, CDs, iPods, etc.  These things have proven themselves to be vital to our everyday life and so we succumb and add it to our lives.  Right now you are probably asking, “Since when are Gummy Vitabears vital to everyday life?”  Helloooo!  Where have you been?  Gummy Vitabears are like the coolest thing since sliced bread was invented.  I never had so much fun from vitamin-ingesting until I got my Gummy Vitabears.  No more choking down some horse-pill that tastes like death itself trying to enhance my less-than-nutritious diet.  (And I just got hungry for my Vitabears so I just went and popped some in my mouth-I feel healthier already!  Miracle of miracles, I think I want to run a mile right now! or at least do a commercial)

My point:  I am a follower.  You are a follower.  There are leaders who lead the following but even they are following something too.  We follow.  We lead.  We follow.  We lead.  It’s called life. And as for me and my house, we follow the iPhone.  Next year, who knows, maybe we will trade in our iPhones for telepathy.   Until then, I am anxiously waiting for another beautiful piece of technology to change my life (again).

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