It’s possible that after eating a dinner of octopus and eel and then coming home to Chex Muddy Buddies (to which I started saying “I love you so much” with the same voice you talk to a really cute baby/dog-yeah, it would have been embarrassing but I was the only one home), that I may not be thinking clearly at the moment but I really want to write a post for you.  Though it just might come out a little more dramatic than it should.  I am feeling quite dramatic at the moment.

Today, I talked to a lady who has been hearing voices and although she is on medication, the voices are overwhelming right now.  “I feel like I’m going crazy!” were her words to me. I smiled—Yeah, not the right time to smile actually.  (Note to self: next time someone says they are feeling like they are going crazy, DO NOT smile-unless they are really really really crazy and will join you in smiling, don’t smile).

However, I smiled for a reason that had nothing to do with her.  We all wonder at times what is going on, where are we going, what’s wrong with us.  If the woman only realized that we all feel at times we are going crazy, wondering if we are really cut out for the task at hand. Why can’t we keep our minds focused on the things that truly matter?

You know those times when there is something you really want to forget and yet, everywhere you go, there is a sign, a reminder, a symbol of the very thing you just wish you could let go of.  Your eyes automatically zoom in on everything that would even remotely signal your brain to tell your heart that you don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell in forgetting what you want to forget. The more you get reminded, the more you question your sanity. The more you question your sanity, the more you look for signs that you are not insane. You beg your brain to let go, to relax, to be quiet, to meditate on the simple things.  “Stop, please stop.  You have no right to be so pervasive. No right to fill every cranny of my brain.  No right to make me feel like this.  Just let it go.  It’s no use thinking about something that is so useless.  What’s done is done.  Let the book end.  Let the credits roll.  Let the fat lady sing.  Let bygones be bygones.  Let sleeping dogs lie.  Let the dead die.  No more sequels.  Let the subscription run out.  Let the glass spill empty. Please thoughts, just bite the dust and go belly up.”

I was at a meeting last week and started doodling circles.  That’s what I like to draw.  Circles touching other circles all in one big clump.  Clumpy circles.  Circles of clump. My co-worker wrote on my paper: “That is a sign of intelligence”.  I thought to myself, “I knew it!” A sign.  The oppressive reminders will not take over my intelligent brain! I will divide and conquer!

Recently when a guy I don’t really know found out I rather enjoy listening some to Justin Beiber every now and then, he questioned my sanity. He couldn’t believe that a 30-year-old woman would find the Biebs enjoyable.  I couldn’t believe he was judging us so fast.

People will always question your sanity when you do something different and others will find reason to think you are intelligent.

The conclusion?  The moral of this all?  The reason I am writing this at all?

Well, I could reference the Urban Dictionary.

PER URBAN DICTIONARY-Definition #6 of Insane is: The label given to people who open the door that sane people keep closed… the people who are consumed by the awareness of their existence, when everyone else is blind to their own… the people who can distinguish the reality of illusion from those who live the illusion of reality… etcetera.

And then there is the Bible.

Philippians 3:12-14: Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

We focus on Jesus.  We take our thoughts captive and we determine to walk worthy of the calling.  Our lives, our destiny are tied up  in the joy of knowing Him.  We are flesh and we are human but our God invigorates with His power in order to help our brains…well, keep order!

Will we succeed?  Most assuredly my friend, most assuredly.

 

Advertisements