PREFACE:  There may be some ridiculousness in what I write because I am trying to make a point.  Hopefully you will understand!

Recently, someone I didn’t know very well (nor will ever see/talk to again) got very irate and offended because of me.  I know, shocking.

Their response to me after I was offensive:  “I was just having a conversation with someone about how crazy redheads are.  And they were right!”

My first thought was, “Oh no.  All the poor redheads from here on out who this man will meet!” I sincerely felt sadness, frustration and disappointment. (I did try to apologize).

I’ve been told many times “I ain’t gonna cross you, I know you can get really really angry”. Have you ever seen me really angry?  No.  Do I sound angry now?  No.  Then why?  “Because you have red hair.”  I always just laugh and say “Yep, you’re right.”  If I argue, they may then think, “All redheads argue”!

I am sure you, like me, love being the reason why everyone from here on out in your profession, your race, your sex, your church, your gym, your city, your neighborhood, your school will be judged harshly.

I had a bad day and now, all women are considered crazy.  All nurses are demanding and rude.  All white people are full of themselves.  All people from my town are lazy.  All people at my church are selfish and arrogant.  All Christians are hypocrites.  All redheads are offensive.  Everyone who drives a Dodge Stratus doesn’t pay enough attention to the road. All Americans are loud.

The truth is, someone, somewhere is going to misunderstand me.  Someone at some point is going to take things the wrong way and get offended. I’m gonna laugh when I should cry.  I’m gonna cry when I should laugh.  I’m gonna run when I should sit.  I’m gonna wear shorts when I should be wearing a dress.  I’m gonna be too loud or too quiet or sleep in or burn the breakfast or watch the wrong movie or dance the wrong moves.

So, I’m sorry.  To all Redheads, all nurses, all women, all christians, all whites, all Americans, all Dodge Stratus drivers, all humans, all short people, all singles.  In the past 31 years of my life, you may have been judged more harshly on account of me.

I know I don’t have to spell this out for you but let me conclude with this (next time you are tempted to be offended by me or anyone else on this planet):

If you are going to judge, judge me alone. If you are going to be offended, be offended by me alone.  Leave the redheads, the nurses, the short people, the Christians out of this interchange.  They have been trying to help me for years but it looks like I still have a long way to go.

(On second thought…I don’t think I know any Redheads who aren’t crazy…)